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by Kes Cross
The first thing to do is rediscover your inner confidence. Many of us have had bad relationships or have been through break ups that were less than pleasant. On a psychic level, these experiences can leave us full of self-doubt, which ultimately leads to self-blame. Self-confidence is key to finding the man you want. Begin with positive visualisation. These are most powerful when your subconscious and your conscious mind are still intertwined. If you donât have the time to meditate, then using the time between waking and sleep can be just as effective. You can begin your visualisations at the end of the day or first thing in the morning.
Begin by remembering a time in your life when you feel that you were at your most confident. Make mental notes of how your appearance looked and the way you carried yourself. At the same time, try and identify just how it was you were feeling at that time and, if possible, identify what it was that was helping you feel that way. This may take a number of sessions and, in many ways it is better if it does. Once you have uncovered that confident you from way back when, you should try and distil the images into a snapshot that capture you at your most self-assured. The next stage is to visualise the man that would most complement your self-image but, although you will come to visualise this man, try to focus on the aspects of his personality that would harmonise with your inner-selfâs vision of yourself rather than just what he looks like.
In the daytime, try and embrace an aspect of your snapshot. This may be something physical, such as a hairstyle or a particular dress, but concentrate on the inner feelings associated with that confidence. Take one aspect at a time and try to incorporate them into your waking hours. Begin each morning with an affirmation of the aspect you are going to embrace, but ensure that your instructions to yourself are positive. Rather than saying, âToday I will not be afraid to speak my mindâ say, âToday I will speak my mind.â The difference is that the subconscious does not respond to negative instruction and will react in the opposite way. To illustrate this, try not to think of a blue bear. On reading this, your subconscious will do exactly what you have asked it not to â because it will not be able to process the command ânotâ. Your subconscious is programmed to be positive, so use it to your advantage.
...But Not Too Confident
Possibly the most irresistible trait for any man is a woman who is at ease with herself. However, you must be careful that your self-confidence does not transform into or communicate itself as arrogance. In your visualisations, your focus on the partner that would best complement the good things about yourself is important, but we are not denying the role they may play in helping you understand and accept the less positive aspects of your personality. Once the physical side of a relationship has become less exciting, the true test of a relationship is what is left - the psychic journey. The psychic journey begins where the physical side leaves off and is an exploration of all the facets, both positive and negative, of your respective psyches. If you have solely focussed on self-improvement and concentrated on making yourself uber-confident, there will be no room for a psychic relationship to flourish. While men are attracted to women who seem happy in their own skins, they also need to feel needed. If you are apparently in complete control of yourself and your life, they will feel surplus to requirements. Showing vulnerability is an act of psychic trust and shows a deep understanding of your own quirks and faults.
The most irresistible combination for any man is a woman who is at home with herself, yet is prepared to admit that there is room for improvement. While the media continues to bombard us with images that suggest we are not worthy unless we look like supermodels, this is not the key to attracting a soul mate. The key is to focus on what is inside you. By releasing your inner potential this will, in turn, have a positive effect on your physical self. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so take the time to look at yourself in a positive yet realistic light.
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